Here we go again, folks!

It's that time of year when millions of Football fans' hopes are about to be dashed into a billion pieces by the harsh reality of the game.

Yep. Today the new Premier League season begins, actually already has at the moment I write, with the world about to be entertained for another 10 months by hordes of outrageously overpaid, spoilt sportsmen kicking "a bag of wind into an outdoor cupboard", as the great stand up, Bill Bailey, puts it.

Now, most of the stuff you read about football is by experts and those intensely knowledgable about the game - perhaps you read out of interest, or even because you love Football so much you want to risk your money by betting on it and want some pointers.

I wouldn't set any store by my opinions folks - so I take no responsibility for your bad bets or for you getting mocked by more knowledgable mates. I'm still going to share my thoughts on this season here.


It's pretty certain that poor old Burnley will be relegated - we'd love them not to be, since one of the things football fans love is the old underdog story (so long as your team isn't being relegated instead!). As for the rest of the relegation battle, it's very much a question of whether

a. Hull City pull themselves together or continue on the dreadful form they had for the second half of last season
b. Portsmouth get a buyer - otherwise they're screwed.

If their situations turn out for the best I'd probably see Birmingham going down, but I fancy Wolves will stay up. I have no idea who the third relegated club will be in this situation.

One thing you won't be seeing at the end of the year is Newcastle heading back to the Premiership. That club has a serious and debilitating sickness pervading it, and needs a wholesale rebirth before anything turns around.

I'm a Tottenham Hotspur fan myself, and since I'm a pessimist I think we'll probably manage to make 7th this year, with Villa ahead of us (which is annoying since my father-in-law is a fan) and the obvious Top five above. Fulham will fall away because they will be distracted significantle by European considerations.

It is always possible with Spurs that things are more volatile than that - after all, last season we got only 2 points from 8 games at the start of the year, and then went on to have the best Home record in decades and 47 points from the last 30 games of the year.

I think the key for Spurs is to shore up our defence, who seem to attract injuries in the way poor old Darren "sick-note" Anderton did all those years ago. Our best natural defender is so injured he has to rest between games rather than training - permanently! We've brought in one of Newcastle's only decentish players last year, but if you ask me we should try and play with the big boys, take advantage of David Moyes' anger at Man City and bid for Jolean Lescott! If we do it all in secret and the way Moyes wants, we may get at least to negotiate terms with the lad.

That's pretty much a pipe dream, but one more centre back will at least get me a bit more relaxed.

Finally, as for the top five, I think Man City will have a fairly poor start and may even fire Mark Hughes before the end of September, but I do think they'll make fifth once they gel.

Arsenal will end up in fourth - they just can't keep up in the arms race with their richer rivals.

Chelsea in third. Sure, they're many people's pick for the win, but I dislike their attitude and I think when players are this coddled and priveleged it costs them a lot of their killer instinct. Fergie knows how to get past this with his fabled man management skills, but Ancellotti is a different beast, and there's always that Russian bloke looking over his shoulder as a distraction.

Liverpool in second and Man U as champions. I think this will be even closer than last season, and could go either way but Fergie always wins the battle of the managers and I think he will make the difference.

A